Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
