the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
