dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
