Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize