We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
