I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wear drunk well.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
