dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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