Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
