even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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