Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i out mim tonsoeep
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
