I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
