its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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