Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
