4 words: hood of his car
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize