My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
