I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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