It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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