they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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