Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
