part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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