She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
