its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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