So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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