God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
