Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
