just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
