I want to stick my p in your. b.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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