Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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