not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
well you can't waste a boner
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
