she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
