he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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