Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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