i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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