'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
