Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize