the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
