To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
