Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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