i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
