butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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