but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
