I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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