come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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