sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Drunk is a universal language darling
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
