seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
