Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
