Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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