thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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