I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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