I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
