I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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