the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
