haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
