I have demons in me.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
