I want to make a zoo with you.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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