"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
